Feeling Overwhelmed is Your Own Fault: 8 Tips to Stop It

calendarThe world moves so quickly these days, it feels hard to keep up. With the proliferation of available information, you can trick yourself into believing that you need to keep up with all information and happenings. However, it isn’t simply paying attention to everything that’s going on that makes you productive and valuable; it’s staying intentionally attuned to the things you’ve identified as important and relevant to your business that keeps you productive and on target.

In short, you’ll stop feeling overwhelmed when you learn to say “no” to everything that is not fundamentally important to achieving your current goals.

Here are eight tips for reducing feelings of overwhelm and keeping yourself on track with the things you’ve identified as important:

  1. Get comfortable with the fact that most information is just noise. Just because information is accessible doesn’t mean it’s relevant to you.
  2. Determine what’s fundamentally important to maximize your business and yourself. The really important things for business tend to be the basics: mission, vision, values, current goals, key performance indicators (KPIs), key relationships, and professional development for you and your staff.
  3. Base your everyday tasks and activities what’s fundamentally important. Look at your calendar. Do your day-to-day appointments and scheduled blocks for projects etc. reflect the fundamentals as they relate to your position? Whether you’re the CEO or the VP of Human Resources, there are things you ought to be doing to further the company’s current goals. Are you? If you find items that have low value related to the company’s goals, figure out what to do about them, including delegating them to others who have the capability and could grow from the opportunity.
  4. Reduce your connection to irrelevant information. Doing simple things to decrease distraction can reduce feelings of overwhelm, like turning off pop-up email notifications, creating email rules that dispense with low priority email messages, and unsubscribing from email lists that you rarely find helpful.
  5. Train your staff about your response priorities. Which topics are front-burner for you? What counts as an “emergency” when they should definitely interrupt you? What’s your response time for texts versus email versus phone calls and when should they use each method of communication?
  6. Build time into your schedule when you are intentionally available for drop-in conversations. This presumes that you set aside “do not disturb” time when you are focused on strategic and project work. Having “office hours” when you’re readily available encourages others to access you on your terms, not theirs.
  7. Find root causes to other disruptions or time wasters. “Fires” usually occur when they wasn’t a good process in place for handling a situation. Look at ways to create or refine processes for handling most things that are likely to challenge your staff, so they learn to do things without you.
  8. Question whether you really need to have or attend the meetings on your calendar. Maybe you do, but it’s good to review whether a particular meeting is really a good use of your time.

Practice seeing through the “charms” and “alarms” of life to keep your center. Knowing what’s important and saying “no” to the rest is the key to reducing feelings of overwhelm.

New Beginnings: How to Gain Credibility in a New Role Without Slaughtering Sacred Cows

Sacred CowWhether you were recently promoted to a leadership position for the first time, or you are a seasoned leader hired into a new company, stepping into a new role is exciting . . . and it can also be fraught with landmines and interpersonal dynamics you never dreamed of. If you transition to your new role thoughtfully, you increase your odds of making a great impression on others, avoiding critical errors that come from underestimating the power of corporate culture, and laying the foundation for getting results later on.

The biggest tendency is to jump right in to show how good you are, regaling others with your knowledge or solving problems that you can’t wait to address. Unfortunately, those who have been around awhile might see things different and might even take offense at all of your new-fangled ideas.

Unless you were hired into a desperate situation with the expectation that you would clean house from Day 1, you would be wise to ease in to your new role and be a bit circumspect. For the first three to six months, here are 6 things to do or keep in mind when you are the new kid on the block:

1. Take it slowly.

Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day. You don’t have to “fix” everything you see that is wrong (in your eyes) all at once (unless that’s why you were hired). Let people get to know you first. Slowing down also allows you to more fully understand why things are the way they are. If you rush to make changes, you’re sure to step on toes that you can’t afford to offend.

2. Clarify what will make you “successful”.

To do this, look at what would make you successful based on the role, what your boss is looking for from you, and what you want to personally accomplish long- and short-term to be successful.

3. Make your boss shine.

Need I say more? It’s always good to make your boss look good, so what can you do in your new role to support your boss’s agenda?

4. Foster a relationship with each direct report.

The better your team knows you as a person, the easier it is for them to put your ideas and suggestions into context. Get to know what’s important to them and for their careers. They will already have trust in you and know you have their best interests at heart.

5. Don’t risk being labeled an “outsider” from the get-go.

Align with the company’s values and behavioral expectations. Figure out how things get done. Get a feel for the sacred cows, pet peeves, superstars, and outsiders. In short, adapt to your new surroundings. You can point out when and if the company doesn’t “walk its talk” later once others know and trust you.

6. Observe and uncover issues without solving them immediately.

Especially in your area of responsibility, get to know other players, learn about current and on-going issues, and just listen and observe. Spot patterns, learn the history of things, and tune into where there are alliances and feuds. Quietly hypothesize about root causes and possible solutions.

Sometimes less is more, and that seems to be apt when starting a new role (and especially in a new company). Ease into your job in the first 3-6 months and let the company adjust to you before you attempt to impact the new culture. Once you are a better-known quantity and accepted as part of the group, you’ll have the credibility to voice your observations, concerns, and solutions and have them taken seriously.

Feelings of Shame Are at the Heart of These 3 Leadership Types

shameThe following leadership types come from feelings of underlying shame that center around their identities. Their behaviors reflect how they attempt to craft identities they believe are more worthy.

Business Dysfunction: Overcare

Leadership Type: Helper/Giver – This might be you if you find yourself giving and giving and giving and feel as though your employees take advantage of you. You never seem to get back the quantity or quality of “respect” or “love” you show others. You tend to take on too much at once, and you will often take on overflow work from your employees even if it creates burnout for you. It’s like drowning yourself to keep others from drowning! At the end of the day you are overly-focused on meeting the needs of others that you ignore your own needs. Oh, I forgot. You don’t think you “need” anything. The unconscious and unspoken message you’re sending is, “Oh, you poor people. Where would you be without me? You can’t do it on your own.”

On the plus side, you have genuine empathy and compassion for others and really care about your employees.

You can become a “better” version of yourself when you focus on loving and appreciating yourself, instead of trying to “prove” you’re worthy by acting lovingly toward others.

Business Dysfunction: Workaholic Culture

Leadership Type: Overachieving Ambitious Chameleon – This might be you if you do and say whatever it takes to increase your status and to get what you want. This can make you appear disingenuous. As a competitive type, you set overblown goals then take shortcuts to get there quickly, often sacrificing quality for achieving a goal. You want to be indispensable, so you may appear self-promoting and emotionally disconnected from others at work. Failure is not an option for you.

On the plus side, you are charming, confidently driven, focused, ready to take on any challenge, and you usually succeed. Anyone would love to have you as a mentor.

You can become a “better” version of yourself when you focus on what works and is fulfilling to you, instead of what’s efficient. Realize it isn’t all up to you – you have a whole team to rely upon.

Business Dysfunction: Irresponsibility

Leadership Type: Misunderstood Misanthrope – Do you know you’re creative and unique but feel misunderstood by others? You might feel a tug between wanting to be different and at the same time, you want to be accepted by the mainstream group. More often than not, in an attempt to be unique, you create an inner fantasy of who you are, but you find yourself driving a wedge between yourself and those whose acceptance you seek. You might be this type if you find yourself in the center of drama frequently. Others see you as moody or temperamental. You have a handy excuse for not being accountable when things go wrong – you tell yourself that others just didn’t understand or catch your creative vision.

On the plus side, you are creative and more aware of your own inner emotional life than most people.

You can become a “better” version of yourself when you get out of your own head and fantasy life about how different you are. Realize there is nothing wrong with or flawed about you at bottom. Focus more on your positive characteristics.
For more information on human archetypes learn more about the Enneagram.

Leadership Types Based on Underlying Anger

anger typesSome business dysfunctions are driven by leadership types who work from underlying feelings of anger, whether it’s suppressed, acted out, or repressed.  Here’s how these types show up.

Business Dysfunction: Power, Control & Micromanagement

Leadership Type #1: Persnickety Perfectionist – Your team sees you as a “black and white” thinker, who is judgmental, controlling, very demanding and never satisfied. For this reason, others keep their distance from you because they don’t think they can please you. Well, you do tend to criticize everything they do! You simply feel obligated to fix everything according to your standards.

On the plus side, you are refined, organized, modest, responsible and concerned with quality. You provide reliability and stability with your principled approach to life.

To soften you approach, acknowledge you anger/dismay and shift just a little to come across as curious about a situation instead of critical Learn to accept that everything is as it should be. Seeking perfection is a process, and often “good enough” is OK.

Leadership Type #2: Pushy Power-Grabber/Bottom-Line Bully – If you’re the second type of “micromanaging” leadership type, your team sees you as controlling, angry, and intimidating. More task- than people-focused, you can sometimes take a “my way of the highway” approach and are subject to angry outbursts that are over as quickly as they appeared. You can be blunt and love a “good discussion” (aka “confrontation”), which is a game to you, but you forget that others can’t withstand the intensity. Afraid of being taken advantage of, you habitually use intimidation and more power than necessary to get what you want. On the plus side, you are a protective leader who would go to the mat for your people. You are good at taking charge and getting things done and who are a daring risk-taker.

Your team will see the real “you” when you pause, slow down, and learn patience. Cultivate relationships with those around you. Realize that the unhealthy, contentious confrontations will eventually do more harm than good.

Business Dysfunction: Disconnection and Withdrawal

Leadership Type: Elegant Evader – Your team experiences you as so conflict avoidant that you retreat from or “give in”, in any situation where there might be the tiniest disagreement. You go to great lengths to maintain an even keel with no ruffled feathers. By avoiding conflict, you ironically create more conflict as your team becomes frustrated with you when work stalls and issues are not resolved. Sometimes you give in to “go along, get along” without noticing the inconsistent decisions made and confusing messages sent. You can appear to go along with others outwardly, but inside you dig in your heels and refuse to budge (ahh — there’s the repressed anger!). On the plus side, you are a peaceful, calm, and kind consensus builder who truly has others’ best interests at heart.

Your team will see the real “you” when you embrace conflict and take initiative to get what you think is important. Learn to live with some discomfort and assert yourself.

Leadership Styles Driven by Anxiety

anxiety types

Business dysfunctions don’t just appear. They come from, in large part, the leadership styles of those in charge. The following leadership styles that contribute to the business dysfunctions of Busy Distraction, Shortsightedness, and Fear & Panic are all driven by underlying anxiety where the individual acts in certain ways to seek relief from niggling thoughts inside their own head:

Business Dysfunction: Busy Distraction

Leadership Type: Disorganized Dreamer. Your employees see you as the person who generates a ka-zillion ideas and who often sends

them on wild goose chases to explore every one of them. One minute you give an employee an assignment to move forward on a project involving widgets because they are the next new thing. Two days later, you re-direct the employee to ditch the widget project and focus on a completely different one. Your team experiences you as a leader who lacks focus and follow through. Your employees feel jerked around and unsettled. On the plus side, you  feel enthusiasm for life! You’re happy, charming and fun to be with and have a positive outlook on life. With your energy, life is never boring as you envision the possibilities.

Stop being distracted by every new, shiny object that comes along. Find what you are truly interested in. Then, fully commit to a course of action and allow your team to support you in moving it forward.

Business Dysfunction: Shortsightedness

Leadership Type: Aloof Expert. You are all theories, ideas, abstractions with little or no time for people and relationships. Your team sees you as cold and arrogant. You often see your team as “intrusions” that you don’t want to be bothered with. You create distance between yourself and others as you withdraw into your own thoughts. Your team is tired of hearing how much smarter you are than they are. Your over-reliance on data causes analysis paralysis.  On the plus side, you are an original, innovative, and keen observer who takes calculated risks to create visionary inventions and ways of doing things.

To create better relationships and get others on your side, use your curiosity to engage with others and your environment while letting go of the need to fully understand something before experiencing it.

Business Dysfunction: Fear & Panic

Leadership Type: Loyal Skeptic. This leadership type is fearful and resistant to the unknown. This could show up as fear of taking risks and of failure. You often procrastinate before moving forward. This type wants comfort over growth, so what happens? Ideas, products and services become obsolete, and market share starts to decline.

On the plus side, this type is very loyal to those they trust, and are great planners because they are on the lookout for the worst case scenario. Still, these leaders are hyper-vigilant about “threats” around them and skeptical of everything. They do not to trust themselves to make good decisions, but unfortunately, they are wary of anyone else’s information, too.  This leads to fear and paralysis around making decisions, and they end up bringing about the problems they are trying to prevent. They may  blame others for what happened, too. They can reactive in a knee jerk fashion and end up creating more problems because of that.

If you see yourself in any of these types, consider questioning your underlying assumptions and beliefs about the world.  Breathe and find your center. It’s all good.

8 Dysfunctions That Undermine Company Culture

corporate culture, dysfunction

 

 

Do you recognize any of these archetypal energies in your workplace culture?

Business Dysfunction #1 – Shortsightedness

Inside shortsighted companies, leaders lack a clear vision, and employees are confused about the general direction in which the company is heading. With an emphasis on short-comings and deficits, these companies lack an inspired purpose. Consequently, they are problem-focused and often lose sight of the big picture.

The leadership style driving the dysfunction of shortsightedness is the Aloof Expert who spends most of the time in her head in the land of theories, ideas, abstractions.

Business Dysfunction #2 – Fear & Panic

These companies play it safe. They are risk-adverse and avoid failure at all costs, focusing on avoiding the worst case scenario, favoring comfort over growth and innovation at a cost of obsolescence.

The leadership type behind these companies are Worry Warts, who are very loyal, stable individuals. Unfortunately, they tend to be hyper-vigilant of potential threats and skeptical of almost all information.

Business Dysfunction #3 – Busy Distraction

In contrast to Fear and Panic companies, Busy Distraction companies find it hard to get in a groove. These companies want to be creative and innovative but don’t have the disciplined processes that foster focus and follow through. “Squirrel!”

The Disorganized Dreamer heads these companies as very inspirational and undisciplined: they can inspire others with magnificent ideas but don’t finish what they start.

Business Dysfunction #4 – Control & Micromanagement

In these workplaces, employees feel tightly controlled and micromanaged. It’s not necessarily that the policies and procedures are tightly monitored (although that could be the case); rather, employees can never seem to do anything right. Either their work is criticized as not good enough or their bosses take over their projects and tasks because “if they want it done, they’ll do it themselves”. These companies are short on employee appreciation and long on cracking the whip.

There are two types of leadership styles that can contribute to the Control & Micromanagement dysfunction: the Persnickety Perfectionist and the Pushy Power-Grabber. The Persnickety Perfectionist is a “black and white” thinker who focuses on flaws, criticizing and rarely praising because nothing is ever good enough. The Pushy Power-Grabber is demanding, blunt, angry, intimidating and subject to angry outbursts who desires control.

Dysfunction #5 – Disconnection & Withdrawal

With this dysfunction, things move slowly or not at all because being non-confrontational is valued. Being “nice” is rewarded with less concern for getting results. Goals might be set, but there is no penalty for failing to achieve them. Decisions are delayed or not made at all. Policies mean nothing as exceptions become the rule to keep the peace.

The leader in this company type is a Peacemaker at all costs, who avoids ruffling feathers by appeasing whoever cries the loudest. Consequently, leaders in this company don’t stand firm on anything.

Dysfunction #6 – Over-care with Lack of Accountability

This dysfunction emphasizes being helpful to others. Sounds good until you see the downsides. Leaders fail to delegate appropriately because they rescue employees by making excuses for them and/or picking up employees’ slack instead of holding them accountable. Out of the blue, the leader blows her stack because she suddenly feels taken advantage in spite of creating the situation with poor boundaries in the first place.

The corresponding leader type for the Over-care dysfunction is the Martyr. This is the person who gives and gives and gives until realizing they are not getting reciprocity, at which time they can give you a piece of her mind!

Dysfunction # 7 – Workaholic Culture

This workplace often sets huge goals and pushes its employees to get there no matter what. Failure is not an option, and peer pressure enforces showing that you’re working harder and longer than anyone else. There is nothing wrong with stretch goals and achieving great things. However, here it is all-consuming without an emphasis on guiding principles.

The leadership style that tends to drive the Workaholic Culture is the Overachieving & Ambitious Chameleon, who outwardly displays all the trappings of success – the house, the car, cool vacations – while feeling like a failure on the inside — always driven to prove herself.

Dysfunction #8 – Irresponsibility

In these companies, no one accepts accountability, responsibility, or ownership or displays integrity. It’s everyone else’s fault.

The leadership type is the Misunderstood Misanthrope, a “tortured soul” who wants to be unique and edgy but accepted by the mainstream at the same time.

What to Do When Someone Speaks Their Truth to Your Power

communication, leadershipSpeaking truth to power is something Americans believe in wholeheartedly. We love historical examples of the Founding Fathers sending a message to King George and of reformers like Martin Luther King, Jr. Americans revel in the stories of investigative journalists and whistle blowers who call out the hidden misdeeds of corporations and governments.

However, what do you do when you are the person in power on the receiving end of someone else’s truth? It’s not easy to hear a customer, employee or board member’s negative opinion of a decision you made or an action you took. However, you are not an absolute ruler. With leadership comes the responsibility to account for your decisions and actions and to deepen relationships by being trustworthy.

With that, here are some things to keep in mind for times when someone speaks their truth to your power:

1. Put your ego aside.

Most of your actions and decisions aren’t about you personally anyway; they are or should be done for the good of your organization.  For this reason avoid getting defensive because you took criticism personally. Sometimes, another’s critique is more about himself than it is about the action you took. One way to avoid getting defensive is to . . .

2. Listen for commitment

Be respectful, humble and vulnerable enough to hold the space for the other person to say what they have to say.  And as they speak, give them the benefit of the doubt by listening for what positive principles or values they are committed to in the end. By focusing intently for the core idea the other is communicating to you, it’s very possible you will be able to identify common ground.

3. Consider creating the position of “fool” or “devil’s advocate”

Your direct reports and other employees know where their bread is buttered.This can create a situation where they don’t speak up for fear of losing your favor or their jobs. Take a cue from indigenous cultures that have the role of the sacred clown and medieval monarchs who had court jesters or fools. It was their job to entertain and to enforce the rules of the group by highlighting what was proper and what was not, even by sometimes poking fun at others, including a King or Queen.

Alternatively, you can invite an outside observer, like a coach or consultant, to get a bead on the inconsistencies others notice but don’t voice aloud.

4. Create a bottom-up process for input and observations

Front line employees are often the first to see the disconnect between the company’s “walk” and its “talk”. A process that allows issues and opinions to bubble up and to be addressed could be as general as a survey, or it could include periodic forums where employees interface with leadership to discuss the impact leadership decisions make in practical terms.

Hearing the “truth” that someone else is living need not feel like an attack. Instead, it can be a great opportunity to find out how your intentions are translating into others’ reality.