Do you see leadership as the entitlement and privilege of status or as a responsibility to others?
Your leadership style is shaped by what you prioritize: the status and privilege of your position or the responsibility you have to serve others. True leadership isn’t about titles—it’s about transformation.
The Lost Art of Leadership Initiation
In traditional cultures, initiation rituals marked major life transitions, signifying readiness for greater responsibility. For example, an initiation could indicate whether you were ready to become an elder or a leader in the group. Initiation can also reveal your life purpose and unique talents to yourself and the community. Through initiatory processes, a group learns to trust individuals to be in positions of power like being a chief or an elder in a tribe.
With each successive initiation, you would examine some aspect of yourself for the purpose of letting go of qualities or behaviors that won’t work for them going forward. The idea is that you would grow into your unique self over time and to become a better person and bring your unique gifts to the community. These rites were not mere ceremonies; they were deep, transformative experiences designed to strip away what no longer served the individual, ensuring they stepped into leadership with wisdom and purpose.
A Leadership Lesson from an African Tale
There is a traditional African story that illustrates the importance of initiation in terms of leadership. It involves a brother and sister, whose father had passed away.
One day, after his passing, the father appeared to them, motioning for them to follow. Stunned but compelled, they obeyed.
He led them to down through a hole in the ground, and underneath the ground, they see an entire village. The father led the children to the center of what appeared to be a deserted village and motioned to them to hide in some nearby bushes, where they could silently watch what happened.
After a while, a crowd of people come to the center of the village, followed shortly by someone who looked like an important person. The boy and girl saw one side of this person was covered in maggots. The people of the village gathered around and started picking away the maggots and cleansing this side of this high-status person.
After they had done that , it was getting dark so everyone, including the important chief or elder, left. The brother and sister stayed hiding until dawn the next morning, when the people again returned, followed the important person. This time, the children saw their other side, which was covered in gold. Again, the people of the village gathered around and began anointing this golden side the chief with oil and polished it until it gleamed brightly. When the ritual was complete everyone departed.
Now this story points out a couple of important things about leadership: Every leader carries both strengths (gold) and flaws (maggots). The key is to recognize, cleanse, and refine both sides with the help of others.
Why Modern Leaders Miss This Wisdom
Modern leaders still go through initiations—but without guidance, they miss the wisdom these transitions offer. As a result, instead of consciously designing and debriefing initiations that prepare you psychologically for the responsibility of leadership, today’s culture focuses more on the outer material things you can achieve as you climb in status.
Thus, it’s likely that you were not adequately centered in knowing yourself and were unprepared to assume your first (and maybe subsequent) leadership position. It’s likely you hadn’t determined and detonated your emotional triggers or defined their own unique purpose and contribution in life. In other words, you probably weren’t fully aware of or worked to heal your own maggots. And you probably hadn’t fully embraced and polished your unique gifts and talents to use for the benefit of others.
The Recurring Mistake Organizations Make with Leadership
Most companies fail to prepare leaders for the emotional and psychological demands of leadership. Instead, the assumption organizations often make is that if you are good at a job due to your technical skills, you’ll be able to lead others effectively. When that assumption is proven false, in some cases, the company calls someone like me to help polish the leader’s “gold” and become aware of and cleanse the “maggots” through coaching.
All this to say, our society bases its definition of success on outward appearances. To this end, most companies’ repeatedly fail to prepare prospective leaders for the level of self-awareness and emotional maturity required to be effective . This leads to an over-emphasis on the outward status and the material perks of leadership by many of those in leadership positions. Focusing on leadership’s perks over its responsibilities creates a false sense of competence, feeding the ego rather than true capability.
In all likelihood, you will focus on what’s “in it” for you if you haven’t done the work on yourself (been initiated). This means, your presence and leadership will not be as beneficial to others as it could be. Any inability to handle yourself appropriately impacts your ability to handle power and authority appropriately. Thus, any “maggots” will be painfully evident to everyone around you –- others will clearly see your wounds and your shadow qualities even if you don’t see them yourself. Accordingly, most organization do not prepare or initiate new leaders for the psychological and interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence required to lead others effectively.
Leadership Requires a Mindset Shift
Leadership isn’t just about status—it’s about service. While the perks of leadership are real, the greater gift is the opportunity for personal growth. The real challenge? Facing yourself and refining the person you bring to your team. In fact, weirdly, situations will come up (sometimes repeatedly) that require you to face aspects of yourself that you may need to question, reinforce, or even transform. These situations will seem specifically tailored for you. Situations will repeatedly reflect old patterns and beliefs until you increase your emotional intelligence and take your responsibility to others more seriously.
To conclude, leadership is more about being mindful and humble about your responsibility to others, and that requires you to get in good emotional and psychological shape. It’s less about any entitlement to elevated status and perks. Great leadership starts with self-work. When you commit to cleansing your “maggots” and polishing your gold, you not only transform yourself—you elevate everyone around you.
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