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Conquer yourself for greater impact.

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I help managers & executives align business & talent strategy to create stakeholder value.

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Do you need a speaker on building high-performing teams, creating psychological safety, or other leadership skills? Contact me today.

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Latest Blog Posts

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November 6, 2024 Beth
Building Psychological Safety Starts with You

You’ll rarely have the perfect mix of people on your team. But keep in mind that the very best teams are based on how they interact with each other and with stakeholders. So keep recruiting the best people you can for your team, and if you really want to build a better team, create the conditions for greater psychological safety and start with showing up for your team a little differently.

The Importance of Psychological Safety

Psychological safety is a team member’s belief that they won’t be punished or humiliated for speaking up with questions, concerns, ideas, or mistakes – by you or by other colleagues. In short, it means that team members believe other team mates will give them grace when they take the risk to look silly, uninformed, or just plain wrong. Psychological Safety is critical to have, especially with work that is complex, uncertain, cutting-edge or creative, and requires interdependence with other parties or groups. Research shows that it is the “gateway” condition for creating a high-performing team. So, without adequate psychological safety in place, your team members won’t give you their best. Without psychological safety, your team or organization will fall behind when trying to create high-quality products or services that meet or exceed your stakeholders’ expectations. You’ll know you have work to do when you see low or even mediocre employee engagement, innovation, growth, customer satisfaction, and by extension, profitability. There is no one thing that will magically make your team perceive more psychological safety. So, stop waiting for a magic bullet or for something or someone else to change it for you. You must take responsibility to do something different to improve the psychological safety on your team.

How to Show Up for Your Team to Build Psychological Safety and Move Toward Better Performance

Whether you’re a team leader, middle manager over a department, or executive, work on these aspects of your own self-development to create the conditions conducive to better psychological safety and a high-performing team.
Be Authentic
 Being authentic is about being your genuine self with others. To become more authentic, embrace your uniqueness or “weirdness”  instead of trying to fit a cookie cutter idea of who you need to be at work. The concept of being “weird”, a word that comes from a Norse word (wyrd), refers to one’s individual experience and expression. So, express your own “wyrd-ness”. (Watch a video I made on this topic.) Also, to show up more authentically, you it takes the self-awareness and self-development work to get a handle on “your stuff” and increase your EQ. A good place to start is to look at the things or people that “set you off” and how you react when you are triggered. You might not realize that your reactivity impacts those around you, and your status as a leader magnifies that impact. These triggers indicate beliefs and behaviors that aren’t working for you anymore and that you might want to let go of.
Adopt a Learner Mentality
 When work on showing up more authentically, you’ll become more secure and centered, which means you can admit mistakes and be open to ideas from others, which is key to learner mentality. The qualities to tap into for a learner mentality to include:

humility – knowing that you aren’t better than others, which allows you to admit when you don’t know something;

fallibility - knowing you’re not perfect or all-knowing and will readily admit when you’re wrong and will share your mistakes and what you learned from them;

curiosity – having a desire to learn, which you can harness by asking thoughtful, open-ended questions of your team that are both broad and deep; and

putting focus on learning as they execute - helping team members discover what they need to learn to be successful as they pursue the tasks required to reach a team objective or goal

Respond Effectively
You can encourage more team member participation, thoughtful discussion, and better questions from your team when you:

Assume good intentions – suspending judgment of something a team member does or says until you more fully understand where they are coming from. (Watch a video I made on this topic.)

Express appreciation for sharing bad news or failures – thanking team members for their contributions, questions, and broaching difficult to hear topics by. That means you’ll listen thoughtfully, indicate that what they shared matters, and acknowledge or thank them for bringing up the topic, idea, mistake, or question.

Put mistakes or failure in perspective – based on the nature of the work…

Celebrate failures that helped the team learn something new – avoid “shooting the messenger” when a team member delivers bad news to you and offer help or support when team members experience failure or mistakes

Address clear violations of policy and procedure - Clarify boundaries from the start, so team members know what is blameworthy and respond appropriately to clear breaches of policy or procedure in a timely and appropriately serious manner to influence future behavior

Building more psychological safety starts with you. No matter how good or discombobulated your team is currently, realize that you personally have some work to do.  After all, you are a powerful role model for the rest of your team. So, become more authentic, adopt a learner mentality, and work on responding more effectively to encourage team members to take the risk of disappointing you to create psychological safety. When you become the type of person who routinely creates the conditions for psychological safety, team performance and relationships will improve. See more videos on psychological safety on my YouTube channel here

October 4, 2024 Beth
How Well Do You Handle Power? Leadership of Entitlement Vs. Responsibility

What’s more important to you — the status you get from being in a leadership position or the responsibility to serve others? The quality of your leadership is shaped by whether you emphasize the status and privilege that you get from being in a leadership position versus the responsibility you have toward others.

The Importance of Initiation for Leadership
In traditional cultures throughout time, you would have undergone initiations to mark important transitions and stages in life to acknowledge reaching a new level of maturity or ability. For example, an initiation could indicate whether you were ready to become an elder or a leader in the group. Initiation can also reveal your life purpose and unique talents to yourself and the community. Through initiatory processes, a group learns to trust individuals to be in positions of power like being a chief or an elder in a tribe. With each successive initiation, you would examine some aspect of yourself for the purpose of letting go of qualities or behaviors that won’t work for them going forward. The idea is that you would grow into your unique self over time and to become a better person and bring your unique gifts to the community.
An African Tale About Initiation & Leadership
There is a traditional African story that illustrates the importance of initiation in terms of leadership. It involves a brother and sister, whose father had passed away. One day after his passing, the father appeared to the siblings and waved them over to follow after him. They follow him even though they can’t believe their eyes. He led them to down through a hole in the ground, and underneath the ground, they see an entire village. The father led the children to the center of what appeared to be a deserted village and motioned to them to hide in some nearby bushes, where they could silently watch what happened. After a while, a crowd of people come to the center of the village, followed shortly by someone who looked like an important person. The boy and girl saw one side of this person was covered in maggots. The people of the village gathered around and started picking away the maggots and cleansing this side of this high-status person. After they had done that , it was getting dark so everyone, including the important chief or elder, left. The brother and sister stayed hiding until dawn the next morning, when the people again returned, followed the important person. This time, the children saw their other side, which was covered in gold. Again, the people of the village gathered around and began anointing this golden side the chief with oil and polished it until it gleamed brightly. When the ritual was complete everyone departed. Now this story points out a couple of important things about leadership:
  • Even as a leader, you have both wonderful qualities that support your work with others (gold) and some not-so-wonderful qualities that block your ability to express your unique wisdom and talents (maggots). With intention and the help of those around you, you can cleanse what is wounded and unwanted, like the maggot side, and polish your noble aspects, like the gold side.
The Wisdom Missed for Today's Leaders
Today, you are probably not as aware of the initiations you go through in life — even if you go through a ceremony — but they still happen. Unfortunately, it’s likely you miss the wisdom you could get out of them. As a result, instead of consciously designing and debriefing initiations that prepare you psychologically for the responsibility of leadership, today’s culture focuses more on the outer material things you can achieve as you climb in status. Thus, it’s likely that you were not adequately centered in knowing yourself and were unprepared to assume your first (and maybe subsequent) leadership position. It’s likely you hadn’t determined and detonated your emotional triggers or defined their own unique purpose and contribution in life. In other words, you probably weren’t fully aware of or worked to heal your own maggots. And you probably hadn’t fully embraced and polished your unique gifts and talents to use for the benefit of others.
The Recurring Mistake Organizations Make with Leadership
Also in my experience, most companies are not very good at creating structures to support individuals to be ready for positions of greater responsibility leading and supervising others. Instead, the assumption organizations often make is that if you are good at a job due to your technical skills, you’ll be able to lead others effectively. When that assumption is proven false, in some cases, the company calls someone like me to help polish the leader’s “gold” and become aware of and cleanse the “maggots” through coaching. All this to say, our society bases its definition of success on outward appearances.  To this end, most companies’ repeatedly fail to prepare prospective leaders for the level of self-awareness and emotional maturity required to be effective . This leads to an over-emphasis on the outward status and the material perks of leadership by many of those in leadership positions. This superficial emphasis on the outward trappings of occupying an elevated position are a false signal of worthiness and competence and only serve to reinforce the Ego. In all likelihood, you will focus on what’s in it for you if you haven’t done the work on yourself (been initiated). This means, your presence and leadership will not be as beneficial to others as it could be. Any inability to handle yourself appropriately impacts your ability to handle power and authority appropriately. Thus, any “maggots” will be painfully evident to everyone around you – others will clearly see your wounds and your shadow qualities even if you don’t see them yourself. Accordingly, most organization do not prepare or initiate new leaders for the psychological and interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence required to lead others effectively. So, instead of focusing on the status and the perks of leadership (which are often really nice and you should enjoy them), a mindset shift is necessary: with leadership comes greater responsibility to others, which means the process of becoming a leader is a great opportunity for you to grow as a human being. In fact, weirdly, situations will come up (sometimes repeatedly) that require you to face aspects of yourself that you may need to question, reinforce, or even transform. These situations will seem specifically tailored  for you. Situations will repeatedly reflect old patterns and beliefs until you increase your emotional intelligence and take your responsibility to others more seriously. To conclude, leadership is more about being mindful and humble about your responsibility to others, and that requires you to get in good emotional and psychological shape. It’s less about any entitlement to elevated status and perks. Understanding this allows you to focus on your own development into the type of person who is ready to lead others (and help them grow too). After all, when you attend to your “maggots”, you allow your healed and polished authentic self to impact your team, your community, and the world in the most positive way possible.

woman leader with hands on hips in front of team
black and white image of three women at a table in a meeting
August 26, 2024 Beth
Empathy and Emotional Intelligence: The Influence of the Feminine in the Workplace

In today’s business world, your ability to access your empathy and emotional intelligence is a must. Increasingly, the modern workplace has changed, morphing from a bastion of masculine qualities and values to giving greater value to these and other feminine qualities. Consequently, your effectiveness as a leader is no longer simply about making decisions or delegating tasks; rather, your leadership effectiveness is about understanding and connecting with your team on a deeper level.

Empathy
First, look at the growing importance of one feminine quality, empathy. Empathy is about stepping into someone else’s shoes and seeing the world from their perspective. As a leader, it is crucial to recognize that each employee has their own challenges, strengths, and aspirations. In the old masculine-dominated paradigm, showing empathy by being interested in your employees’ challenges and perspectives would have been seen as weak because employees were mostly seen as cogs in the machine. Their job was simply to show up and “do” without allowing their individuality to get in the way. Caring about them would just get in the way of getting the work done.
The Research on Empathy
But more and more, companies see empathy as important. In a recent study, 98% of employees surveyed, considered empathy an important factor in the workplace, even though only 40% of them agreed that their employers were empathetic. To add weight to the importance of empathy, roughly 45% of consumers say they’ll purchase more from a company if it shows empathy. Additionally, research on empathy shows:
  • leaders with empathy increase the satisfaction of their employees by 50%. Indeed, 83% of employees are more likely to stay with a company that is empathetic;
  • 70 - 80% of virtual workers state that high empathy is important for successful remote work;
  • a lack of empathy contributes to 60% of incidents in the workplace;
  • 80% of CEOs report a direct correlation between empathy and the financial performance of their business, which might be because approximately 77% of workers would be willing to work more hours in a more empathetic workplace; and finally,
  • empathy can reduce racism by up to 50%.
Showing Empathy
How do you show empathy at work? It’s as simple as asking employees how they’re feeling about their current work --whether it’s the same-old, same-old or a new project -- then offering support and guidance as required. As a leader, you can show empathy by recognizing the interpersonal dynamics going on your team and taking time to talk about or check in with team members to enable them to support one another better.
Having Emotional Intelligence
Empathy goes with another increasingly valued feminine quality: emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is about being aware of your own emotions and how they impact others, as well as being able to regulate your emotions effectively. Leaders who possess emotional intelligence can navigate challenging situations with grace and composure, instead of becoming reactive and allowing the fight-or-flight response get the better of them. By demonstrating your own emotional intelligence, you will inspire your team to do the same.
The Research on Emotional Intelligence
Research shows that supervisors who act in emotionally intelligent ways create a more positive work climate, have employees who are able to grow into their jobs, and are generally more effective. To these ends, emotional intelligence is what helps you successfully coach teams, manage stress, deliver feedback, and collaborate with others. With emotional intelligence, you can achieve two important business goals: create an environment that supports employee well-being, and build greater team cohesion and focus - which allow teams to deliver results aligned with company and stakeholder objectives. In fact, some research suggests that you can increase productivity by as much as 20% if your employees increase their emotional intelligence, too. This is probably because with high emotional intelligence, your team is more likely to stay calm under pressure, resolve conflicts effectively, and respond to each other  with empathy.
Final Thoughts on Empathy and Emotional Intelligence
Whether it’s offering support during difficult times, fostering a culture of open communication, or providing constructive feedback, your ability to harness the power of the feminine qualities of empathy and emotional intelligence is in demand. It’s not just about what you do. It’s about how you make your team and others around you feel. When you foster an environment where emotions are acknowledged and valued, you can create a culture of trust, collaboration, and psychological safety. It's important to lead others to do the work to achieve company goals, but it's the teams who develop good working relationships with each other and their stakeholders who perform above the rest. To that end, empathy and emotional intelligence are qualities that everyone on your team can and should cultivate because in the end, it’s the feminine value of creating human connection that drives success in the workplace today.

August 7, 2024 Beth
Using Non-Violent Communication: 5 Clues You’re Not Taking Responsibility in Interactions

(Updated from a May 2017 post “5 Signs You Shirk Responsibility When Communicating”) Communicating effectively is probably the most common area where managers, team leaders, and executives can grow. In fact, surveys indicate the following:

  • Teams who communicate effectively in the workplace may see as much as a 25% increase in their productivity (Pumble.com, 2021).
  • According to research conducted by US firm Gartner, poor communication is responsible for 70% of corporate errors.
  • A Harris poll (2016) found that 69% of managers surveyed were often uncomfortable communicating with employees.
In my experience, I’d bet that the discomfort cited by managers comes from not understanding their own perspective on an issue, what drives, and it, and what they need in the conversation or from the other person to get on the same page and feel respected and heard. From what I’ve seen and noticed in myself, most of the time people are more interested in advocating for their ideas and “winning” instead of understanding your own point of view and what drives it. This means, you must first become aware of how you’re showing up in conversations and discussions. One simple (but not easy) technique that can help you improve your communication through increased awareness focuses on a tenet of Non-Violent Communication (NVC) from the teachings of Dr. Marshall B. Rosenberg, which is to come off autopilot with more awareness and pay attention to the actual facts, the emotions they bring up for you, and what you need or value in the situation. When you do these things, you take responsibility for your own experience during any interaction. Once aware of what you’re experiencing, you can then make a request of the other person that will allow you to meet what you need in the moment. Using NVC allows you to create greater connection and understanding by discerning and meeting your own needs and probably understanding better the other’s needs, too.
Signs You're Not Taking Responsibility in the Conversation
How well do you take responsibility during interactions? Here are 5 signs that you might be shirking responsibility and inhibiting your ability to communicate effectively:
  1. If I don’t get what I want from an interaction, I give up and blame the other person for not understanding.
  2. If business results are poor, I look at what other’s did or failed to do to cause them.
  3. Under pressure, I get reactive and express my first impulse or feeling regardless of how it will impact others.
  4. When in a conflict with another, I stand my ground and wait for them to apologize first.
  5. Even if others admit mistakes, I often hold a grudge and have a hard time working effectively with them in the future.
If even one of the above statements describes you, consider taking a hard look at your responsibility in that instance. What have you not been paying attention to …. the facts? your emotions around those facts? or what you need or value with respect to the issue at hand? Leadership requires you to look at yourself first and to shoulder the responsibility for outcomes and relationships with your group or team. Learning more effective communication techniques, like those taught in NVC, can help you do just that by starting with where you’re coming from on an issue first.   WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, BLOG, OR WEBSITE? You can, as long as you include this information with it: Beth Strathman coaches middle managers, team leaders, teams, and executives to “lead like nobody’s business” by building teams and workplaces that foster greater inclusion, learning, participation, and innovation. Learn more about her work at:  leadlikenobodysbusiness.com.

May 20, 2024 Beth
As a Supervisor, Are You Leading or Bullying?

(This is an updated version of a post I did in October 2012.) “I feel like you’re intimidating and bullying me.”  These are the words of a female employee during a meeting with her male supervisor, who intended to set expectations with her. Taken aback, the supervisor started to question his behavior. With stories of children being bullied at school and with differences between generations at work, it makes you stop and think about bullying in the workplace. As a supervisor, how do you know whether you are leading or bullying? At work, a few employees will attempt to deflect responsibility and attention away from themselves, especially when a supervisor addresses a work issue. One thing an employee may say, whether they really believe it or not, is that you are bullying” them. It seems for some employees, no one – not even their supervisor – has a right to set or clarify expectations for their conduct or performance at work. Also, some employees may use the word “intimidation” when describing what it felt like when they were called into their supervisor’s office to discuss a performance issue. Well, sure, it can be intimidating, especially for those who know deep down they’ve failed in their work commitment.  But that doesn’t mean the boss was indeed intimidating, purposefully or not, and it doesn’t mean they are a bully. What it does mean is that the use and misuse of power and authority by supervisors is often at the heart of perceptions of bullying.

 Correlations Between Bullying Behavior and Leadership Style and Traits
 Your leadership style and other personality traits can make it more likely an employee will perceive they are bullied, even if your manner or behavior doesn’t cross a line (usually set by the organization’s standards of conduct). One study found that bullying correlated with all four leadership styles measured and that:
  • An autocratic leadership style was the strongest predictor of bullying observed by others;
  • A laissez-faire leadership style emerged as a predictor of self-reported as well as observed bullying; and
  • An unpredictable style of leadership, where punishment is meted out or delivered on leaders' own terms, independent of the target employee’s behavior was the strongest predictor of self-perceived bullying.
(Hoel, et al, 2009) In contrast to the autocratic leadership style, a more recent study found that a more democratic and communal leadership orientation may lead to fewer perceptions of bullying in the workplace. (Houghton et al, 2021).
 Distinguishing  Bullying and Supervisory Behavior
 According to the Workplace Bullying Institute, bullying is “repeated, health-harming mistreatment by one or more employees of an employee: abusive conduct that takes the form of verbal abuse; or behaviors perceived as threatening, intimidating, or humiliating; work sabotage” or a combination of these. It is often a “systematic campaign of interpersonal destruction” that causes harm such as health issues, adverse employment actions, (i.e., demotion, termination, reprimand, failure to promote, etc.), or even constructive discharge. Bullying behavior can include ostracizing or isolating, being aggressive or intrusive, minimizing, intimidating, criticizing, or spreading gossip about the target of their bullying. Often, a peer or supervisor will bully another employee due to professional jealousy, being seen as a threat to the bully’s social status to their ability to be in control, or being insecure or having low self-esteem. To check your behavior as a supervisor, use the chart below to clarify bullying versus appropriate supervisory behaviors:
Bullying Leading as a Supervisor
During a performance review, the supervisor is intentionally biased or gives inaccurate feedback because they don’t like the employee even though the employee is a good performer. During a performance review, the supervisor shares honest, substantiated feedback with the employee, whether or not they like the employee as a person.
The supervisor deliberately excludes an employee from workplace meetings and activities for no good reason or for a concocted reason while other employees on the same team or in the same job classification are invited to attend. The supervisor includes an employee in workplace meetings and activities that other employees on the same team or in the same job classification attend, whether or not the supervisor like the employee and even if the employee is not the best performer.
The supervisor instigates, encourages, or fails to stop others from spreading malicious gossip, jokes, or rumors about an employee. The supervisor refrains from joking about, gossiping or spreading rumors about any employees, and addresses such behavior with other employees who engage in it. Instead of listening to gossip and rumors, the supervisors ignores it, or if warranted, follows up with the employee directly and privately, giving them an opportunity to give their version of the situation.
The supervisor pesters, spies, or stalks the employee with no business reason for doing so. The supervisor monitors all employees’ whereabouts and productivity if there is a business reason for doing so, and documents and addresses any issues of attendance or productivity privately with an employee, giving them an opportunity to give their version of the situation.
The supervisor criticizes or belittles the employee persistently or allows others to do so without saying anything. The supervisor speaks privately with the employee if there are documented conduct or performance issues, and gets the employee’s explanation during the conversation.
The supervisor applies undeserved or unwarranted corrective action or discipline to an employee. The supervisor addresses only work-related issues, supported by relevant information regarding a situation, including the employee’s version of events, before deciding whether or not to discipline an employee for workplace misconduct.
The supervisor consistently gives a good performer assignments that are beneath their position to create a feeling of uselessness. The supervisor holds all employees accountable to job performance standards and documents/addresses sub-standard performance with interventions such as re-training, job shadowing, or a performance plan.
Regardless of how you show up, the authority inherent in your position will automatically intimidate some. Still, as a supervisor, everything you do and say will be magnified 1000 times by that authority. That’s why it’s a good idea to become aware your own insecurities and the way you react when stressed. Your insecurity and reactive behavior could be sending unintended messages that employees interpret as bullying. Also, work with your human resources department to know how to address workplace issues with employees with professionalism and respect. Want to plan out a tough conversation you need to have with an employee?  Download my Conversation Planner

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August 30, 2021 Beth
Why You Need to Do More Systems Thinking with Your Team

For over 400 years, western civilization has increased its use of analytical thinking and the scientific method to explain almost everything in the natural world. By using analysis (separating a whole into its component parts), our society has greatly expanded the knowledge of how things work. With this knowledge, humans have invented new technologies that have freed many people from lives focused only on survival. Yet, elevating analysis over other thought processes has led to a loss of appreciation of how human beings and everything else are interdependent elements of an interconnected, complex web of life. You might notice this overuse of analysis in your workplace. For example, I would bet that most (if not all) of the “thinking” done by you and your team is analyzing problems by looking for causes and effects.

Systems Thinking as a Complement to Analysis
I’m not advocating that you quit using analysis. It has its place. But analysis comes up short when working in a complex environment of issues and stakeholders. You know this if you have had the experience of  "solving a problem” only to have it repeatedly pop up elsewhere in your organization or system. What I am suggesting is that you and your team use systems thinking, or synthesis, as a counterbalance to analysis. Systems thinking provides an understanding of why the whole system of parts is the way it does and to focus your efforts; your team can then use analysis for determining how parts are working. In contrast to analysis, systems thinking begins by focusing on the broader system. First, define that system and its function (stakeholders). Next, look at the interaction of the its “parts” (team members) of the system (of stakeholders). As Russ Ackoff said, "A system is not the sum of its parts but a product of their interactions." Using systems thinking (or synthesis) with analysis will enhance your team’s ability to more thoughtfully address issues and strategize for the future.
Benefits of Systems Thinking
Here are three benefits of using more systems thinking with your team:
Your work will be more meaningful.
When you approach your work, including processes and people dynamics, with the whole system in mind, your team will work more holistically to make the system work better more effectively. This is because systems thinking emphasizes the relationships and interactions between the people and processes involved in any situation. You’ll go from feeling like “cogs” in a machine to seeing yourselves as intelligent, adaptive participants in an interdependent ecosystem. You'll gain a broader perspective and see the interconnectivity of people and processes across many different areas. This adds to more meaning to your work.
You are more likely to make progress on complex issues over the long-term.
Using systems thinking takes you from using only a cause/effect, linear approach to resolving issues within the system. This means, you’ll move from assuming a problem lies where the symptom occurs. Instead, you'll realize that multiple actions/reactions in other parts of the system can occur to discombobulate the system.
Your team will become a learning machine that adds greater value.
“Problems” become learning opportunities for your team. Instead of assuming a “problem” needs to be simply eliminated, your team will learn to dive into understanding unwanted situations. You'll stop going for quick fixes or avoiding the issues altogether. System thinking provides new perspectives on why the system is not functioning well. The can then adapt to better serve the system. Unlike analysis, systems thinking is not second nature to most of us at this point.  Over the centuries, analysis helped humans to gain new knowledge about phenomena in our world. Unfortunately, it over-emphasized the parts over the whole. Using more systems thinking can re-balance your approach to chronic, long-term issues. As your team uses more systems thinking, you will generate choice, create interconnectivity, and become more aware of possible solutions that improve the whole system. WANT TO USE THIS IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, BLOG OR WEBSITE? You can, as long as you include this information with it: Beth Strathman works with executives and senior leaders to create team environments that optimize ownership, accountability, learning, and results. Learn more at bethstrathman.com.