Feelings of Shame Are at the Heart of These 3 Leadership Types

shameThe following leadership types come from feelings of underlying shame that center around their identities. Their behaviors reflect how they attempt to craft identities they believe are more worthy.

Business Dysfunction: Overcare

Leadership Type: Helper/Giver – This might be you if you find yourself giving and giving and giving and feel as though your employees take advantage of you. You never seem to get back the quantity or quality of “respect” or “love” you show others. You tend to take on too much at once, and you will often take on overflow work from your employees even if it creates burnout for you. It’s like drowning yourself to keep others from drowning! At the end of the day you are overly-focused on meeting the needs of others that you ignore your own needs. Oh, I forgot. You don’t think you “need” anything. The unconscious and unspoken message you’re sending is, “Oh, you poor people. Where would you be without me? You can’t do it on your own.”

On the plus side, you have genuine empathy and compassion for others and really care about your employees.

You can become a “better” version of yourself when you focus on loving and appreciating yourself, instead of trying to “prove” you’re worthy by acting lovingly toward others.

Business Dysfunction: Workaholic Culture

Leadership Type: Overachieving Ambitious Chameleon – This might be you if you do and say whatever it takes to increase your status and to get what you want. This can make you appear disingenuous. As a competitive type, you set overblown goals then take shortcuts to get there quickly, often sacrificing quality for achieving a goal. You want to be indispensable, so you may appear self-promoting and emotionally disconnected from others at work. Failure is not an option for you.

On the plus side, you are charming, confidently driven, focused, ready to take on any challenge, and you usually succeed. Anyone would love to have you as a mentor.

You can become a “better” version of yourself when you focus on what works and is fulfilling to you, instead of what’s efficient. Realize it isn’t all up to you – you have a whole team to rely upon.

Business Dysfunction: Irresponsibility

Leadership Type: Misunderstood Misanthrope – Do you know you’re creative and unique but feel misunderstood by others? You might feel a tug between wanting to be different and at the same time, you want to be accepted by the mainstream group. More often than not, in an attempt to be unique, you create an inner fantasy of who you are, but you find yourself driving a wedge between yourself and those whose acceptance you seek. You might be this type if you find yourself in the center of drama frequently. Others see you as moody or temperamental. You have a handy excuse for not being accountable when things go wrong – you tell yourself that others just didn’t understand or catch your creative vision.

On the plus side, you are creative and more aware of your own inner emotional life than most people.

You can become a “better” version of yourself when you get out of your own head and fantasy life about how different you are. Realize there is nothing wrong with or flawed about you at bottom. Focus more on your positive characteristics.
For more information on human archetypes learn more about the Enneagram.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, BLOG OR WEBSITE? You can, as long as you include this information with it: Beth Strathman works with women in leadership who want to have more positive impact within their organizations by gaining greater focus, self-awareness, and influence with their teams. Learn more at: firebrandconsultingllc.com.

Leadership Types Based on Underlying Anger

anger typesSome business dysfunctions are driven by leadership types who work from underlying feelings of anger, whether it’s suppressed, acted out, or repressed.  Here’s how these types show up.

Business Dysfunction: Power, Control & Micromanagement

Leadership Type #1: Persnickety Perfectionist – Your team sees you as a “black and white” thinker, who is judgmental, controlling, very demanding and never satisfied. For this reason, others keep their distance from you because they don’t think they can please you. Well, you do tend to criticize everything they do! You simply feel obligated to fix everything according to your standards.

On the plus side, you are refined, organized, modest, responsible and concerned with quality. You provide reliability and stability with your principled approach to life.

To soften you approach, acknowledge you anger/dismay and shift just a little to come across as curious about a situation instead of critical Learn to accept that everything is as it should be. Seeking perfection is a process, and often “good enough” is OK.

Leadership Type #2: Pushy Power-Grabber/Bottom-Line Bully – If you’re the second type of “micromanaging” leadership type, your team sees you as controlling, angry, and intimidating. More task- than people-focused, you can sometimes take a “my way of the highway” approach and are subject to angry outbursts that are over as quickly as they appeared. You can be blunt and love a “good discussion” (aka “confrontation”), which is a game to you, but you forget that others can’t withstand the intensity. Afraid of being taken advantage of, you habitually use intimidation and more power than necessary to get what you want. On the plus side, you are a protective leader who would go to the mat for your people. You are good at taking charge and getting things done and who are a daring risk-taker.

Your team will see the real “you” when you pause, slow down, and learn patience. Cultivate relationships with those around you. Realize that the unhealthy, contentious confrontations will eventually do more harm than good.

Business Dysfunction: Disconnection and Withdrawal

Leadership Type: Elegant Evader – Your team experiences you as so conflict avoidant that you retreat from or “give in”, in any situation where there might be the tiniest disagreement. You go to great lengths to maintain an even keel with no ruffled feathers. By avoiding conflict, you ironically create more conflict as your team becomes frustrated with you when work stalls and issues are not resolved. Sometimes you give in to “go along, get along” without noticing the inconsistent decisions made and confusing messages sent. You can appear to go along with others outwardly, but inside you dig in your heels and refuse to budge (ahh — there’s the repressed anger!). On the plus side, you are a peaceful, calm, and kind consensus builder who truly has others’ best interests at heart.

Your team will see the real “you” when you embrace conflict and take initiative to get what you think is important. Learn to live with some discomfort and assert yourself.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, BLOG OR WEBSITE? You can, as long as you include this information with it: Beth Strathman works with women in leadership who want to have more positive impact within their organizations by gaining greater focus, self-awareness, and influence with their teams. Learn more at: firebrandconsultingllc.com.

Leadership Styles Driven by Anxiety

anxiety types

Business dysfunctions don’t just appear. They come from, in large part, the leadership styles of those in charge. The following leadership styles that contribute to the business dysfunctions of Busy Distraction, Shortsightedness, and Fear & Panic are all driven by underlying anxiety where the individual acts in certain ways to seek relief from niggling thoughts inside their own head:

Business Dysfunction: Busy Distraction

Leadership Type: Disorganized Dreamer. Your employees see you as the person who generates a ka-zillion ideas and who often sends

them on wild goose chases to explore every one of them. One minute you give an employee an assignment to move forward on a project involving widgets because they are the next new thing. Two days later, you re-direct the employee to ditch the widget project and focus on a completely different one. Your team experiences you as a leader who lacks focus and follow through. Your employees feel jerked around and unsettled. On the plus side, you  feel enthusiasm for life! You’re happy, charming and fun to be with and have a positive outlook on life. With your energy, life is never boring as you envision the possibilities.

Stop being distracted by every new, shiny object that comes along. Find what you are truly interested in. Then, fully commit to a course of action and allow your team to support you in moving it forward.

Business Dysfunction: Shortsightedness

Leadership Type: Aloof Expert. You are all theories, ideas, abstractions with little or no time for people and relationships. Your team sees you as cold and arrogant. You often see your team as “intrusions” that you don’t want to be bothered with. You create distance between yourself and others as you withdraw into your own thoughts. Your team is tired of hearing how much smarter you are than they are. Your over-reliance on data causes analysis paralysis.  On the plus side, you are an original, innovative, and keen observer who takes calculated risks to create visionary inventions and ways of doing things.

To create better relationships and get others on your side, use your curiosity to engage with others and your environment while letting go of the need to fully understand something before experiencing it.

Business Dysfunction: Fear & Panic

Leadership Type: Loyal Skeptic. This leadership type is fearful and resistant to the unknown. This could show up as fear of taking risks and of failure. You often procrastinate before moving forward. This type wants comfort over growth, so what happens? Ideas, products and services become obsolete, and market share starts to decline.

On the plus side, this type is very loyal to those they trust, and are great planners because they are on the lookout for the worst case scenario. Still, these leaders are hyper-vigilant about “threats” around them and skeptical of everything. They do not to trust themselves to make good decisions, but unfortunately, they are wary of anyone else’s information, too.  This leads to fear and paralysis around making decisions, and they end up bringing about the problems they are trying to prevent. They may  blame others for what happened, too. They can reactive in a knee jerk fashion and end up creating more problems because of that.

If you see yourself in any of these types, consider questioning your underlying assumptions and beliefs about the world.  Breathe and find your center. It’s all good.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, BLOG OR WEBSITE? You can, as long as you include this information with it: Beth Strathman works with women in leadership who want to have more positive impact within their organizations by gaining greater focus, self-awareness, and influence with their teams. Learn more at: firebrandconsultingllc.com.